Eurovision 1984
Luxembourg

THE YEAR OF THE FUNKY FONT
What can you do when the typeface is more memorable than the singers? A surprising year. DIGGI-LOO DIGGI-LEY is truly the stand-out song which may come as a surprise to many.

OFFICIAL TOP THREE:
Sweden
Ireland
Spain

MY TOP THREE:
Sweden.
Er, that’s it.

SWEDEN
THE HERREYS. DIGGI-LOO DIGGI-LEY
or DIGGILOO DIGGILEY for short

Brilliant. What can I say? That exuberance, the dance steps, that nifty coordinated armwork. NOT TO MENTION THE SHOES. If you last to the end of the voting and see their reprise, there’s an amazing shift in confidence. They’re really enjoying themselves up there and – bonus – no dodgy trumpet blast. A gem.

Special mention to:
BELGIUM
JACQUES ZEGERS. AVANTI LA VIE
Serious. Intense. Kind of pop-classical. An older man, not that there’s anything wrong with that. And four females, two in red and two in white, in a kind of French Revolutionary mise en scène although I could be reading into it. Reminds me of Jacques Brel and that can’t be wrong.

FINLAND
KIRKA. HENGAILLAAN.
He flings his arms. Life! Happiness! Wackiness! YES! Interesting choice of back-up singers: baby doll/elegant lady/muscle man in lemon yellow. Refreshing relief from all the awfulness. And you can’t go wrong with a harmonica.

And also:
YUGOSLAVIA
VLADO AND IZOLDA. CIAO AMORE.
European Uma Thurman and a kind of exotic David Cassidy. With an appealing non-David Cassidy voice. Not that David Cassidy’s voice was unappealing. I like this song. Not sure why. Could be the long black gloves.

Go France Award
FRANCE: Just keeps putting up quality acts that will never win.

Dusty Springfield Award 
UK: Yikes. I want to like this but there’s something not quite right.

Award for Hardest Working Back-Up Singers
CYPRUS: Oh my they’re energetic.

Award for Proficiency in Hand Clapping
AUSTRIA: Second from the right, yes, you!

Newsreader of the Year 
GERMANY: Yes, I know she’s a singer but would you trust this woman with your nightly news bulletin? I would.

THE END