THE YEAR OF BLACK NAIL POLISH
or
THE YEAR OF REALLY RANDOM EVENING GOWNS
or
THE YEAR OF WACKY PROPS
1. Ukraine. Mariya Yaremmchuk. Tick tock.
Pop
Catchy tune! Hamster wheel in outer space! Fabulous midnight blue evening gown! She tries to talk to the man in the hamster wheel – he falls out? – no, he tumbles out – he tries to reach her – now she’s draped artistically on top of the hamster wheel – don’t fall off! – he’s being so damned elusive – in the hamster wheel, out of the hamster wheel – so much symbolism.
2. Belarus. Teo. Cheesecake.
Dance
A song called Cheesecake deserves all the time in the world. Great stuff, Teo! And anyone can follow those dance moves. Love it. I would say it’s cheesy but nah.
3. Azerbaijan. Dilara Kazimova. Start a Fire.
Ballad. With weirdy trapeze person in red dress.
Didn’t start mine. My fire, that is.
No Verkas, sorry.
Brief interlude: Is this the weird props year? Hamster wheel and trapeze artist for no particular reason. Looking forward to the next one…
4. Iceland. Pollapönk. No Prejudice.
Pop
Happy band in pink yellow pink turquoise red and purple. Australia has The Wiggles, Iceland has these guys. Yay! Extra points for the two dudes up the back in overalls. Overalls, overalls…is that an Icelandic thing?
Brief interlude: Year of black nail polish? Mariya (Ukrainian hamster wheel) has it and now lead singer of Pollapönk, Heiðar Örn Kristjánsson, has it. Hmmm….
5. Norway. Carl Espen. Silent Storm.
Ballad
Solo melancholic male with a piano. Not too bad.
6. Romania. Paula Seling & OVI. Miracle.
Pop
She’s a hologram! He pretends to play a circular keyboard! Wild prop! And it works! Paula, what a note!
7. Armenia. Aram MP3. Not Alone
Ballad
Not the strongest voice. Sorry, he’s out of key but he captures attention. And then gradually gets into it. Not sure about his one.
8. Montenegro. Moj Svijet. Sergij Cetkovic
Ballad
Sweet beginning with picturesque young skater. Beautiful song but not enough. Eurovision 1960’s style.
9. Poland. Donatan & Cleo. My Slowianie. We are Slavic.
Trad/Pop
Six Polish women in bad girl mode. Very cheeky. Dressed like cute little dolls. Acting like very naughty young things. Infamous butter churning sequence. How can you not fall under their spell? Didn’t do it for me.
10. Greece. Freaky Fortune feat. RiskyKidd. Rise Up.
Pop
Driving rhythm. Great riff. Classy simple black and white set. Phew. And a trampoline! Can they sing and leap at the same time? Yes! The audience can too, they love it! Hey, why stand on a boring stationary stage if you can bounce in the air?
Brief interlude: Note to Denmark – getting sick of that blue cube.
11. Austria. Conchita. Rise Like a Phoenix.
Show tune
Does everything right. Emotional resonance. Quality stuff but there’s a lot of competition this year. Yes, yes, yes, I know who wins. My quibble would be, as usual, the lyrics: ‘Seeking rather than vengeance, retribution…’ Um, peoples, vengeance and retribution mean exactly the same thing. But hey, we have the wings, the fire, the orange blaze. Conchita, sing your heart out!
12. Germany. Elaiza. Is it Right
Ooom pah pah pop
Trio of women with double bass + piano accordian. I can’t go on, I can’t go on…
No Verkas.
13. Sweden. Sanna Nielsen. Undo.
Ballad
Great performance. So classy. Can’t say that for the song lyrics. I am such a stickler for WORDS. ‘Undo my sad’. Eeeeek. Sad is an adjective, not a noun. Really grates. But how can I go past a key change! And black finger nails #3! Beautifully done, Sanna.
14. France. TWIN TWIN. Moustache.
Alternate Pop
Crazy dude with a Jedward hairstyle with a gang of wacky dudes with mismatched clothes and hairstyle. How zany! Très zany! Particularly like the giant silver moustaches in the background. No boos. Thought there might be some.
15.Russia. Tolmachevy sisters. Shine
Pop
Their hair is joined together. It’s separated! How did they do that? Clear plastic poles like Star Wars laser beams. A seesaw above the clouds! Very conservative costumes. A bit weird. Maybe a more raunchy midnight blue number, girls? A man appears and makes a sun rise. And then he goes away. And wind machine goes crazy and pink turns to orange. Good singers and good song. But maybe some rethinking of concept required.
16. Italy. Emma. La Mia Citta.
Pop/Rock
No idea what this song is about. Great white/gold set and costumes including gold laurel wreaths on their heads. She looks bored? The song is too challenging? Something doesn’t click. Strangely unmoving and unsexy even if she does end up on the floor.
17. Slovenia. Tinkara Kovac. Round and Round.
Pop
Did Polina get a hold of this idea for next year? Round and round. Costume. Erk. Needs a rethink, Tinkara. Clothes don’t match the song. Like this. Great lyrics. Great tune. Wrong costume! I think I’ve made my point.
18. Finland. Softengine. Something Better
Pop
Excellent pop. Tight 5 piece band. Nothing more to be said.
19. Spain. Ruth Lorenzo. Dancing in the Rain.
Ballad /pop
Absolutely beautiful. Might rethink that bridge: ‘the rain, the rain, the rain, the rain…’ Handy hint: Perhaps a bit less: ‘the rain, the rain, the rain.’
Otherwise fantastic! And love the wet hair! What the heck I’ll include you:
20. Switzerland. Sebalter. Hunter of Stars
Pop. Warning: Banjo. And tambourine. And a violin.
Love this. Catchy. He whistles. I am so intrigued: is that recorded? Or is he whistling live? Desperate to know the answer if anyone can help out. It’s just it’s hard to whistle on demand…
21. Hungary. Andras Kally-Saunders. Running.
Narrative/pop
Heavy theme of sexual abuse. Yikes. A lot of melodrama. A Verka for your meaningfulness:
22. Malta. Firelight. Coming Home.
Ballad
Reminds me of Cyprus 2013 – Jeremy….6 of them. Piano. 2 guitars. Singer with trad strings. Bass. And drum. Enthusiastic but doesn’t grab me.
No Verkas this year Malta.
23. Denmark. Basim. Cliche Love Song
Dance pop
Another whistler! So fun!
24. Netherlands. The Common Linnets. Calm After the Storm
Country
Great camerawork to make this a success! Not my favourite genre at all but this is so driving and so heartfelt and the words are so bleak. And they both give a performance that would melt even a Volcano Man’s heart. I don’t think that’s the right imagery but you know what I mean. Breathtakingly compelling.
25. San Marino. Valentina Monetta. Maybe
Pop
Go Valentina, you made it to the final! (I liked your other songs better)
26. UK. Molly. Children of the Universe.
Pop
Great performance. Strong song. Maybe next time just her? Molly doesn’t need all these backup singers and musicians, does she? May your Gran be proud of you!
OFFICIAL WINNERS:
- GERMANY
- NETHERLANDS
- SWEDEN
MY WINNERS:
1. ICELAND
2. ROMANIA
tie for 3. NETHERLANDS
and 3. BELARUS
FIN
eurovisiondownunder.com 